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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
"Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Happy Birthday, buddy!"

Super Moderator
10,048 Posts
Joe, where do you find all these good one's? I wish I had thought of that when I had my wood burner. LOL...

Premium Member
368 Posts
General Lee and the firewood.

After the war General Lee was president of Washington College. All the students were young men. One of the student lodges began to show missing firewood from their wood pile. So one of the students hatched a plan. They would hollow out a log and fill it with black powder, an explosive. Their plan set, they waited and not to long either. BOOOOMMMM! One of the college professors apartments exploded!

To finish the story, and I paraphrase, that student was found out and called in to appear before General Lee, a preamble to punishment. Waiting outside Lee's office the student recalled "I wished the earth would have swallowed me up rather than having to appear before Lee in such a manner".

General Lee called the boy in and asked if he did this thing, of course the student admitted it. Then General Lee laughed and laughed. No one ever recalled seeing the General laugh out loud. Lee then spoke, "your plan was a good one but next time use less powder". That matter closed.

I remember this story from a book entitled Lee. It was heart warming, I hope you enjoyed it too.
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