Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Austin, Minnesota
Need some advice
Need some advice, and thought I would come here. Don't come around much anymore, but I still consider you all family. If this don't belong here feel free to delete.
Some of you know about our troubles with our son, my step son, but he was only 2 when Sue and I got married, so he is my son. He started having depression problems, and anxiety problems when he was in his early teens, and has never really gotten the right help for it. Sue and I have never been on the same page when it comes to discipline. I was always the strict one, and Sue let him get away with everything. He got picked up with weed when he was around 15, he is 23 now. A month ago he got his 3rd DWI in 6 years. The last 2 he lost his car both times. I told Sue I was done with him, didn't want anything to do with him. Told her it was time for tough love, and that she was to stop doing things for him, even tho I knew she wouldn't. She totes him around, getting groceries, and just doing errands. She also lets him come over to do his laundry, even tho she knows he is not welcomed, and that I don't want to see him. He goes to court in October sometime. Maximum sentence in Minnesota for what he is being charged with, is up to 1 year in jail, huge fines, and probation. I am betting that he won't get any jail time. Anyways, I am looking for some advice. Am I being to pig headed, by not wanting anything to do with him, and not welcoming him in my home? Should I give in, and get involved? Or should I stand my ground. He needs help, but he has to want it first. I think he needs to go away someplace and get the mental help he needs, but I don't think outpatient is the answer. But then he has a drinking problem too. The part I don't get, is he has to go in daily to give a breathalyzer test, so he knows he can't drink now, but then as soon as he is off probation, he is back to drinking again. So to me, thats a choice. I just don't know.